Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Sad day
feel sad as unable to take the memorable moment on the important day. Thought will be handled well but at last it was not. How nice if i were know a person can't be trusted so i were able to handle it and buy a cheap package from GROUPON to handle for me ? ...............just sad
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Today's thought
Today really happy for myself. I had found a little change from the inner. I started to realize that angry and blaming got relationship. Today there are two things going to make me angry.
Matter 1, the feeling so innocent.
At first the feeling was "unjust treatment" and following with "angry". In a very short period of time, I am able to calm myself and ask a lot of questions. What can I say or do to make it better? Do I really mean to be what people justified me? Yes to make it better. No is I really not the person being justified. I just take my responsible and apologize upon making people feeling bad about me. And the intention or reasons why I was doing that. I am happy that I no need to responsible for the feeling on how people look at me as that perfectly depend on others' life.
Matter 2, things not being arrange properly by a person.
At first the feeling was "angry" and after a while I had realized that it might be a mistake and it can be changed to better. In the email that I reply to that person only mention the situation and how much I care about it. The only thing is to ask help rather than angry.
These 2 matters taught me a lot, they make me realized how ignorance I was in the past? When I don't think and focus that people keep thinking of bad intentions towards me, it do open another window of my life towards brightness. Appreciate~~
Matter 1, the feeling so innocent.
At first the feeling was "unjust treatment" and following with "angry". In a very short period of time, I am able to calm myself and ask a lot of questions. What can I say or do to make it better? Do I really mean to be what people justified me? Yes to make it better. No is I really not the person being justified. I just take my responsible and apologize upon making people feeling bad about me. And the intention or reasons why I was doing that. I am happy that I no need to responsible for the feeling on how people look at me as that perfectly depend on others' life.
Matter 2, things not being arrange properly by a person.
At first the feeling was "angry" and after a while I had realized that it might be a mistake and it can be changed to better. In the email that I reply to that person only mention the situation and how much I care about it. The only thing is to ask help rather than angry.
These 2 matters taught me a lot, they make me realized how ignorance I was in the past? When I don't think and focus that people keep thinking of bad intentions towards me, it do open another window of my life towards brightness. Appreciate~~
Friday, July 16, 2010
Another deep realization
I have another deep realization from the last realization. I used to say that the more easier that I am able to point out a person behavior, the more likely that behavior also happened within myself. It is so cruel and true that I am hardly to accept people too direct towards me because I am the one always direct to people. I am hardly to believe that I can't even accept people to treat me the way that I always treated others, oh no~~~. How can I expect people accept my behavior as I hardly to accept people's behavior same as myself? One of my gf said the general process of growing will be accept it, suffer it and enjoy it. I had that kind of process few times in the past few years. Now i know that, there is no such thing of complete or ended process of growing as long as I am still alive.
I am learning to adjust myself to learn the way to deliver message that people can easily accept it. I hope myself can realize the mentor meant to me at this point of my life so that I can learn from him/her.
Each of the realization of myself in my life time empower me towards a wonderful life. ^^
I am learning to adjust myself to learn the way to deliver message that people can easily accept it. I hope myself can realize the mentor meant to me at this point of my life so that I can learn from him/her.
Each of the realization of myself in my life time empower me towards a wonderful life. ^^
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Opportunity
Now is about 10.17pm, I just reached home from my Sociology class. Sociology is not an easy subject to me yet every time I attended it I have thoughts after the class. I know that I always pray to the god to ask for something yet not even slow down and quietly listen what God would like to pass to me. Today I linked this to our normal life. I was asking myself how many times I didn't even give people chance when accusing people not giving me chance? (A lot). How many time I didn't listen to others when i accusing people not listening? (Plenty)
I feel so shameful and guilty that how dare I pointing people mistakes as I will make mistakes too. However, I feel so happy that at least I have some realization of myself so that I can improve form there. From now on I'd like to practice myself to ask myself first whenever I feel unhappy to somebody. I believe it can help me a lot .
I am happy that to be given a chance in the class to talk about myself. I am happy to be given a chance to listen to others in the class. This allow me to know more about my new classmates. All of them are so real and kind. My lecturer said my fiance is a lucky man to have me. In fact, in my heart I said I am the lucky person to have him for my rest of the life~~~~~~
Life is so much wonderful depend on me how to make it wonderful ~~
Lastly, I'd like to express my appreciation to those who read and leave encourage comment on my blog. Thank you so much that all of you to give away your precious time.
I feel so shameful and guilty that how dare I pointing people mistakes as I will make mistakes too. However, I feel so happy that at least I have some realization of myself so that I can improve form there. From now on I'd like to practice myself to ask myself first whenever I feel unhappy to somebody. I believe it can help me a lot .
I am happy that to be given a chance in the class to talk about myself. I am happy to be given a chance to listen to others in the class. This allow me to know more about my new classmates. All of them are so real and kind. My lecturer said my fiance is a lucky man to have me. In fact, in my heart I said I am the lucky person to have him for my rest of the life~~~~~~
Life is so much wonderful depend on me how to make it wonderful ~~
Lastly, I'd like to express my appreciation to those who read and leave encourage comment on my blog. Thank you so much that all of you to give away your precious time.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Feeling reaction relationship
Recently, I have being occupied by different kind of people, characteristics, reactions and etc. It is so amaze that the feeling so strong as god would like me to learn something. It is really a chance or opportunity to grow. I had found all the things can be connected. The people in my working place, the people in my university and the people in my community.
The last lecture of Sociology, lecturer shown us 2 chinese character ("危机"), whenever a danger happen means the opportunity. It is really an amaze phrase, all the difficulties that I encounter in my life time also opportunities depend on how much can I realize it, depend on myself how can I grow from there. A person told me that the difficult people in my life are those who come to teach me something. He also taught me to just point out our own mistakes instead of others mistakes.
One of my best gal friend told me that women naturally will feel somethings just most of them don't express it out. However, my own issue is too fast to react them out without process the feeling through my mind then only come out to outside with body or mouth. I really have to learn how to express the feeling out that can be accepted by others. Too straight can be too rude also, it also can be very hurt, I think my ownself also don't want to be hurt by others then why myself go and hurt others?
Many people in the last Creator Of Peace Circle session told me that I was a natural and 'real' person. It can be my advantage and disadvantages also, I know if I don't learn to handle the way that I express the things I will lost a lot of joy in relationship. A person also taught me that everything yes is everything is two sides. How could I still not realize that in many things? A knife can assist us in daily life, it can also hurt us.
I really don't know how far can I grow this time, I know it can be very difficult as I had used to my old reaction so many years. However, I am looking forward to my own grow few months later.
The last lecture of Sociology, lecturer shown us 2 chinese character ("危机"), whenever a danger happen means the opportunity. It is really an amaze phrase, all the difficulties that I encounter in my life time also opportunities depend on how much can I realize it, depend on myself how can I grow from there. A person told me that the difficult people in my life are those who come to teach me something. He also taught me to just point out our own mistakes instead of others mistakes.
One of my best gal friend told me that women naturally will feel somethings just most of them don't express it out. However, my own issue is too fast to react them out without process the feeling through my mind then only come out to outside with body or mouth. I really have to learn how to express the feeling out that can be accepted by others. Too straight can be too rude also, it also can be very hurt, I think my ownself also don't want to be hurt by others then why myself go and hurt others?
Many people in the last Creator Of Peace Circle session told me that I was a natural and 'real' person. It can be my advantage and disadvantages also, I know if I don't learn to handle the way that I express the things I will lost a lot of joy in relationship. A person also taught me that everything yes is everything is two sides. How could I still not realize that in many things? A knife can assist us in daily life, it can also hurt us.
I really don't know how far can I grow this time, I know it can be very difficult as I had used to my old reaction so many years. However, I am looking forward to my own grow few months later.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
A sharing speech in Tools of Change conference 2010
I am happy to be invited by my friend to share my life experience of one of the four standards of Initiative of Change (Iofc) in the Tools of change conference 2010.
My Speech:-
============================================================
To me, the four standards of Initiative of Change are inter related, none of them can be neglected at any time. Today, I would like to share what purity means to me.
The most impressive part that I have learnt from Initiative of Change is using quiet time to discover myself. When my mind and heart are full of dis satisfactions, disturbances, worries and etc, indirectly, it will make me get frustrated; angry easily even hurt the people around me with bad and uncivilized words and tone. My heart and mind are no longer as pure as it should be, I was lost. I have lost not only myself yet lost the good friendship, lost the good love relationship, lost the chance to care family and lost the meaning of my life.
In the past few years, I have been initiating change within myself instead of blaming others. Though the process is not easy it has brought much happiness. I have really found most of the answers within myself when my heart and mind are pure and peace within to listen to myself.
Looking back to myself, I’ve found that I was ignorant and cared more about how people looked at me. I wanted to a ‘good girl’ in people minds but that didn’t make me feel happy at all till I finally found myself in quiet time. I no longer need to do something to please people because I now know people love me for who I am and not the things that I do. At the same time, I have learnt to love the people around me for who they are with existing unique characters, looks and behaviors.
I’d like to share one article that is linked to my sharing. It said “Onion does not have heart, because it is a heart itself, and no matter how we peel the onion piece by piece to find it’s ‘heart’, surely that we will not see the heart”. If a wave thinks that he is the only one in the great sea, then he will never discover himself as part of the sea. If human can only see the outer of themselves then they will never see themselves as part of life. This article reminds me that I always used the wrong methods to love, as I should see people as a whole thing instead of peeling each slice of them.
Finally, I’d like to say it’s never too late to initiate change within myself. The feeling of happiness and satisfactions will follow my soul forever. I share this and you may feel it too and it will never be late for you too. Thank you.
========================END OF SPEECH=========================
My Speech:-
============================================================
To me, the four standards of Initiative of Change are inter related, none of them can be neglected at any time. Today, I would like to share what purity means to me.
The most impressive part that I have learnt from Initiative of Change is using quiet time to discover myself. When my mind and heart are full of dis satisfactions, disturbances, worries and etc, indirectly, it will make me get frustrated; angry easily even hurt the people around me with bad and uncivilized words and tone. My heart and mind are no longer as pure as it should be, I was lost. I have lost not only myself yet lost the good friendship, lost the good love relationship, lost the chance to care family and lost the meaning of my life.
In the past few years, I have been initiating change within myself instead of blaming others. Though the process is not easy it has brought much happiness. I have really found most of the answers within myself when my heart and mind are pure and peace within to listen to myself.
Looking back to myself, I’ve found that I was ignorant and cared more about how people looked at me. I wanted to a ‘good girl’ in people minds but that didn’t make me feel happy at all till I finally found myself in quiet time. I no longer need to do something to please people because I now know people love me for who I am and not the things that I do. At the same time, I have learnt to love the people around me for who they are with existing unique characters, looks and behaviors.
I’d like to share one article that is linked to my sharing. It said “Onion does not have heart, because it is a heart itself, and no matter how we peel the onion piece by piece to find it’s ‘heart’, surely that we will not see the heart”. If a wave thinks that he is the only one in the great sea, then he will never discover himself as part of the sea. If human can only see the outer of themselves then they will never see themselves as part of life. This article reminds me that I always used the wrong methods to love, as I should see people as a whole thing instead of peeling each slice of them.
Finally, I’d like to say it’s never too late to initiate change within myself. The feeling of happiness and satisfactions will follow my soul forever. I share this and you may feel it too and it will never be late for you too. Thank you.
========================END OF SPEECH=========================
New point of view
After the past few months of life experiences, i had learnt to view everything (yes is everything) to be good. Last time whenever every little thing happen to be not good i will start negative thinking and feeling bad, start to find faults and blaming. However, it really not helping me at all.
Share with you one funny thing of me, even i appreciate that i can drive back home safely everyday. How many robber case and accident nowadays? snatch thief? yet, i am blessed by God that all so smooth, i appreciate. i appreciate everyday in heart
These few days my fiance said I did not blame him because of doing wrong, I kept quiet. Finally, I had found my own way to 'cure' myself. Whenever things gone wrong, whenever I want to angry, whenever problem arise.....I will first ask myself in heart --> Why should I angry? Is that any better way to deal with it? The funny thing I did 2 days ago, I couldn't find my electrical dictionary. Instead of blaming myself always careless , I started closed my eyes to think back the very last time I used my electrical dictionary and traced back every moment just like myself being hypnotized. I quickly called my fiance to help me check the place that beneath of driving car's seat as one day he emergency break to make all my things in the bag dropped out. The next day I really got back my dictionary. I appreciate it.
I am happy to my own improvement this time. The absolute standards of Iofc - unconditional love, honesty, purity,Unselfishness(http://www.my.iofc.org/node/44716 ) can never be perfectly achieved yet just a North Star to guide me along my life. I believe I can try my best to change myself towards it as close as I can.
Share with you one funny thing of me, even i appreciate that i can drive back home safely everyday. How many robber case and accident nowadays? snatch thief? yet, i am blessed by God that all so smooth, i appreciate. i appreciate everyday in heart
These few days my fiance said I did not blame him because of doing wrong, I kept quiet. Finally, I had found my own way to 'cure' myself. Whenever things gone wrong, whenever I want to angry, whenever problem arise.....I will first ask myself in heart --> Why should I angry? Is that any better way to deal with it? The funny thing I did 2 days ago, I couldn't find my electrical dictionary. Instead of blaming myself always careless , I started closed my eyes to think back the very last time I used my electrical dictionary and traced back every moment just like myself being hypnotized. I quickly called my fiance to help me check the place that beneath of driving car's seat as one day he emergency break to make all my things in the bag dropped out. The next day I really got back my dictionary. I appreciate it.
I am happy to my own improvement this time. The absolute standards of Iofc - unconditional love, honesty, purity,Unselfishness(http://www.my.iofc.org/node/44716 ) can never be perfectly achieved yet just a North Star to guide me along my life. I believe I can try my best to change myself towards it as close as I can.
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