I had a wonderful reading session yesterday. It's really amazing. I am grateful that heaven let me have a group of friends to have some sharing. I have a lot of thinking after the session or even during the session itself.
At first, my friend Ru Ping let me to listen a song. A great song, the meaing of that is a message from up (heaven) to ask me to wait....Ru Ping shared to me a lot. She said sometimes we have to surrender our life and accept it then only you will feel the amazing of life. Heaven always give the things to us more that we couldn't imagine.--------i don't really understand the surrender part but i have realized something. Yes, all the while i kept asking heaven 'why' ,thousand of time, why i had put the efforts so long and years but still not get some great things. But the very moment now, somehow rather i can feel the message that all those things happened around me. I am enjoying to accept it. And believe the time will come......
In the reading session, we had discussed a lot, shared a lot. A few truth story....
- Real story happened in China, A father and his daugther chating through internet, but they don't know the real relationship. The 12 yrs old gal just said she was about 30+yr-old and working as teacher. They were chating about 1 and a half year, and they decide to married , however at the day they met just realized it is a father and daugther.........T.T how emptiness in nowadays people's heart to search for 'love' from outside in order to fulfill the emptiness part of the heart?
- A gal chat with a man through internet, after 1 year fall in love...but somehow one day this man said he has some trouble or hospitalization and ask the gal to bank in money........T.T i believe there is such thing happened in this world. There are some people using this method to earn income....?They use the weakness of the heart of people .....
- Nowadays, some guys buy 'big car' just because to attract gals. Yes, you may finally achieve the goal. But, does the gal really love you 'what you are' or love the 'thing' you have? At the end of the day, does 'he' really impress the person he like ? ....it really make me think a lot
- Nowadays, a lot of people have masturbation and it has been categorized as harmless and necessary. In fact.....somehow rather it is harm to the terms of psychology.....
The book we are reading is called "The art of remaking men" from Paul Campbell. We had read a few pharagraphs yesterday. There are some lines make me think a lot......
- Our basic selfishnesses are for sex, security and success. To some degree these demands hold each other in check.
- When change comes to the will, the need for the stimulation goes, and purpose and meaning come to life.
- The core of a man's life, the essential "me" that is the spring of all his actions, is his will.
- The "will" has a number of satellites: love, lust,hate,pride,greed,ambition,the fear of what people think.
i agreed with Tia that the "fear of what people think" is the biggest problem. All the while I kept asking 'why' , why i have those 'lust'? Why i have to becom 'the person' they like me to be? How many years....most of the time in the relationship I will try to 'become' the person he like me 'to be',on diet to make myself look great. Initially, I learn handycraft such as knitting sweater,make chinese knots, paper clay,paper cane,cooking.....All these have been categorized 'a great soul mate/wife', considered as 'happinese' to the men who having this kind of gals. When i knit a handphone cover, people asked "wow, who is the lucky guy?so happinese".....................all these make me think a lot..
But now....no matter what i do, i really do it and enjoy the knitting for 'myself'. I don't think that the handphone cover itself will make the guy or relationship to be happinese. Happinese itself is compromised with a lot of things that i couldn't imagine, it is beyond of just doing a 'handycraft' itself. I am happy 'what i am', I appreciate 'what i have', all in the sudden i have realized and understand those things happened in the past. '' Each " brings me messages, brings me to grow , brings me to learn, brings me to aware.
The 'lust' I have to be seem dim because I have found 'myself'. The message I get from the book .....We have to find something within our own selves instead of keep asking from outside such ask 'love', 'lust', 'greed' , 'power' & etc. It will never ended and feel emptiness in the heart. One day...a preson told me that "I love what you are now, you have changed become a woman, spare time do knitting and not addicted to online game, working time do working, etc".................In fact, I don't even bother what you like me to be, it is not so important to me. All the things i do now just because i really enjoy it myself indeed......
Ru Ping said she has spent 4 yrs to find herself....and Tia said "Oh, my dear, it is just a starting...." In fact, in my heart i really agreed with Tia, no matther how much i realized now, no matter how much i have learnt now, no matter how much i have learnt 10 yrs later, i will still feel it is just a starting. How amazing of life to explore...i really love it...
"The more you learnt,
The more you realized you know less...."
- A person stated he will stop smoking because of someone maybe daugther.
- A person stated he will stop smoking because of a gal.
- A person stated he will strive for career because of somebody maybe girlfriend.
..........All those people or most of the people need 'outside' strengths or 'stimulation' to make them change. Violence, drugs,a steady diet of sexual stimulation are an attempt on the part of our life to fill a vacuum in life - a vacuum created by an existence which has lost its meaning and which never demands complete devotion.
I strongly agreed the message i get from Tia and the book....all the stimulations needed will only be elimated when we can find something within ourselves instead keep asking from outside otherwise by the end of the day....demands will never to be completed to fulfill our devotion.
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