Wedding Preparation

These are some outstanding stuff that I want to share about my wedding preparation experience. Until the final week only then I realized the most important thing to a bridal is to only choose the best one you love to have it. Because the most happiest thing for a gal is to wear the wedding gown that she loves and to have the wedding that she needs only then consider it is the beginning of a happiness marriage.

I found that it may lead me to a regret in my life if I only listen to others opinions, such as

Wedding preparation is really a tiring process. Summary :-

1. Wedding date
2. Restaurant
3. Slimming
4. Official Discussion About Married (Ti Qin, 提親)
   
5. Chinese Custom Present (Guo Da Li， 過大禮)
6. Photo Shooting with Album
7. Photo Shooting on Actual Day
8. Dai Kam on Actual Day
9. Make Up artist for bride, groom, bride's maid, mother, mother-in-law
10. Flower wrapping for car
11. Bridal bouquets
12. Corsage for sisters, brothers, groom, mothers and fathers.
13. Decorations at home
    

For the past 3 months, we have made several important decisions like choosing the wedding date, restaurant, bridal package, photoshooting venue, ROM date, decorate the bridal room, gor dai lai, bridal car deco, guest list, wedding eve buffet, etc etc.

I am hereby share my experience for some of the items in details:-

1. Wedding date
   • Depends on how traditional for both families, it is advised to be plan at least 1 year as buffer.
     
2. Restaurant
   • It is advised to be chosen and booked at least 1 year as ahead by providing around RM1k as deposit.
   • Please do check what kind of services they do provide to you, such as:-
     • Do they provide simple decoration with groom and bridal name on stage?
     • Do they provide at least one projector to project photos/slide show?
     • Do they organize the sequence of the whole session by providing the flexibilities on changes?
     • Do they provide sound system for playing music?
     • Do they provide MC?
     • How many free invitations card (usually 80% - more than enough as we will be inviting couple) provided? When can be ready?
       
     • Do they provide banner to display the photo of couple in front of entrance?
     • Don't scare of not enough tables, people do not attending on that day with whatever reasons, restaurant will spare 3 to 5 tables for you (open only need to pay). It is advised to order less tables after you finalized your guest list by utilizing the spare tables. E.g. if you finalized 30 tables (they provide spare 3), then you just order 28 tables.
     • Please do not shy to ask whether people come to attend or not, as a real friends who really wish you happiness will not mind to arrange the time for you. Please do ask their attendance confirmation to finalized the seats.
       
     • When they able to provide a food test, what kind of dishes are ready to be chosen for adjustment, are they really able to provide the 'exact' dishes and utensils on testing day (as what u eat and see are the same on actual day)?
       
   • Different location/states providing services differently so you might need to ask all the services and the charges.
   • I had experienced with 2 states with 2 different arrangement and services.
   • Peikin Johor Jaya Restaurant, JB, Johor.
     • Good experience as they provide 2 projectors mounted on ceiling, sequence for whole process, spot light when couple stepped into the hall, sound system, banner at entrance, signature guest book, decoration with names on stage, all these were free. (maybe included in the tables package but you are free of hassle)
       
     • They do provide 3 spare tables when you order 25 tables, i believe if you order 50 tables will spare 5 tables.
     • They do call you to follow up every single things such as choosing the menu packages, verification on invitation card, banner, etc.
     • 3 months before our wedding date, they provide us to test the foods and exactly same as that day.
     • Even though, end up i had 7 empty tables, they do provide flexibilities for us to make changes. Such as 4 tables combine to be 1 table to enjoy Fo tiao qiang，(Steamed Abalone with Shark＇s Fin and Fish Maw)- 佛跳墙 plus few new dishes with expensive ingredients.
     • Foods excellent as we even decide to choose this restaurant to celebrate my father's birthday.
     • No regret for a happy marriage ^^
       
     
     
   • XX Restaurant Melaka.
     • BAD experience as they don't provide any projectors, sequence for whole process, spot light when couple stepped into the hall, banner at entrance, signature guest book, decoration with names on stage (basic things), (maybe not included in the tables package but you are full of hassle)
     • You need to arrange the above with another persons if you really need these. (i think you have to as no basic name decoration provided on stage @@)
       
     • They do provide 2 spare tables ONLY when you order 50 tables.
     • They do NOT call you to follow up every single things such as choosing the menu packages, verification on invitation card, etc.
     • We need to follow up with them (serve them instead of they serving us), to push them to print the invitation cards.
       
     • 2 WEEKS before our wedding date, they ONLY provide us to test the foods - i) Use the ugly steel utensil to serve you one of the cuisine and told you that ON THAT DAY will use another pretty one (i was thinking how pretty was that? hmm....use your imagination) (ii) Inform us the last cuisine of dessert was not available to be tested and serve you the ICE CREAM (iii) super limited dishes for you to change or even make adjustment ( hmm....i was thinking the testing seem meaningless, u just follow the menu will do)
     • Overall, personal preferences, the food really not that nice, service also not good. Heaven and ground by comparing to other states.
     • You might end up with unhappiness with such a happy event .......
       
     ..............................to be continued
     
   
   

Sad day

feel sad as unable to take the memorable moment on the important day. Thought will be handled well but at last it was not. How nice if i were know a person can't be trusted so i were able to handle it and buy a cheap package from GROUPON to handle for me ? ...............just sad

Today's thought

Today really happy for myself. I had found a little change from the inner. I started to realize that angry and blaming got relationship. Today there are two things going to make me angry.
Matter 1, the feeling so innocent.
At first the feeling was "unjust treatment" and following with "angry". In a very short period of time, I am able to calm myself and ask a lot of questions. What can I say or do to make it better? Do I really mean to be what people justified me? Yes to make it better. No is I really not the person being justified. I just take my responsible and apologize upon making people feeling bad about me. And the intention or reasons why I was doing that. I am happy that I no need to responsible for the feeling on how people look at me as that perfectly depend on others' life.
Matter 2, things not being arrange properly by a person.
At first the feeling was "angry" and after a while I had realized that it might be a mistake and it can be changed to better. In the email that I reply to that person only mention the situation and how much I care about it. The only thing is to ask help rather than angry.
These 2 matters taught me a lot, they make me realized how ignorance I was in the past? When I don't think and focus that people keep thinking of bad intentions towards me, it do open another window of my life towards brightness. Appreciate~~

Another deep realization

I have another deep realization from the last realization. I used to say that the more easier that I am able to point out a person behavior, the more likely that behavior also happened within myself. It is so cruel and true that I am hardly to accept people too direct towards me because I am the one always direct to people. I am hardly to believe that I can't even accept people to treat me the way that I always treated others, oh no~~~. How can I expect people accept my behavior as I hardly to accept people's behavior same as myself? One of my gf said the general process of growing will be accept it, suffer it and enjoy it. I had that kind of process few times in the past few years. Now i know that, there is no such thing of complete or ended process of growing as long as I am still alive.
I am learning to adjust myself to learn the way to deliver message that people can easily accept it. I hope myself can realize the mentor meant to me at this point of my life so that I can learn from him/her.
Each of the realization of myself in my life time empower me towards a wonderful life. ^^

Opportunity

Now is about 10.17pm, I just reached home from my Sociology class. Sociology is not an easy subject to me yet every time I attended it I have thoughts after the class. I know that I always pray to the god to ask for something yet not even slow down and quietly listen what God would like to pass to me. Today I linked this to our normal life. I was asking myself how many times I didn't even give people chance when accusing people not giving me chance? (A lot). How many time I didn't listen to others when i accusing people not listening? (Plenty)
I feel so shameful and guilty that how dare I pointing people mistakes as I will make mistakes too. However, I feel so happy that at least I have some realization of myself so that I can improve form there. From now on I'd like to practice myself to ask myself first whenever I feel unhappy to somebody. I believe it can help me a lot .
I am happy that to be given a chance in the class to talk about myself. I am happy to be given a chance to listen to others in the class. This allow me to know more about my new classmates. All of them are so real and kind. My lecturer said my fiance is a lucky man to have me. In fact, in my heart I said I am the lucky person to have him for my rest of the life~~~~~~
Life is so much wonderful depend on me how to make it wonderful ~~

Lastly, I'd like to express my appreciation to those who read and leave encourage comment on my blog. Thank you so much that all of you to give away your precious time.

Feeling reaction relationship

Recently, I have being occupied by different kind of people, characteristics, reactions and etc. It is so amaze that the feeling so strong as god would like me to learn something. It is really a chance or opportunity to grow. I had found all the things can be connected. The people in my working place, the people in my university and the people in my community.
The last lecture of Sociology, lecturer shown us 2 chinese character ("危机"), whenever a danger happen means the opportunity. It is really an amaze phrase, all the difficulties that I encounter in my life time also opportunities depend on how much can I realize it, depend on myself how can I grow from there. A person told me that the difficult people in my life are those who come to teach me something. He also taught me to just point out our own mistakes instead of others mistakes.
One of my best gal friend told me that women naturally will feel somethings just most of them don't express it out. However, my own issue is too fast to react them out without process the feeling through my mind then only come out to outside with body or mouth. I really have to learn how to express the feeling out that can be accepted by others. Too straight can be too rude also, it also can be very hurt, I think my ownself also don't want to be hurt by others then why myself go and hurt others?
Many people in the last Creator Of Peace Circle session told me that I was a natural and 'real' person. It can be my advantage and disadvantages also, I know if I don't learn to handle the way that I express the things I will lost a lot of joy in relationship. A person also taught me that everything yes is everything is two sides. How could I still not realize that in many things? A knife can assist us in daily life, it can also hurt us.
I really don't know how far can I grow this time, I know it can be very difficult as I had used to my old reaction so many years. However, I am looking forward to my own grow few months later.

A sharing speech in Tools of Change conference 2010

I am happy to be invited by my friend to share my life experience of one of the four standards of Initiative of Change (Iofc) in the Tools of change conference 2010.

My Speech:-
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To me, the four standards of Initiative of Change are inter related, none of them can be neglected at any time. Today, I would like to share what purity means to me.

The most impressive part that I have learnt from Initiative of Change is using quiet time to discover myself. When my mind and heart are full of dis satisfactions, disturbances, worries and etc, indirectly, it will make me get frustrated; angry easily even hurt the people around me with bad and uncivilized words and tone. My heart and mind are no longer as pure as it should be, I was lost. I have lost not only myself yet lost the good friendship, lost the good love relationship, lost the chance to care family and lost the meaning of my life.

In the past few years, I have been initiating change within myself instead of blaming others. Though the process is not easy it has brought much happiness. I have really found most of the answers within myself when my heart and mind are pure and peace within to listen to myself.

Looking back to myself, I’ve found that I was ignorant and cared more about how people looked at me. I wanted to a ‘good girl’ in people minds but that didn’t make me feel happy at all till I finally found myself in quiet time. I no longer need to do something to please people because I now know people love me for who I am and not the things that I do. At the same time, I have learnt to love the people around me for who they are with existing unique characters, looks and behaviors.

I’d like to share one article that is linked to my sharing. It said “Onion does not have heart, because it is a heart itself, and no matter how we peel the onion piece by piece to find it’s ‘heart’, surely that we will not see the heart”. If a wave thinks that he is the only one in the great sea, then he will never discover himself as part of the sea. If human can only see the outer of themselves then they will never see themselves as part of life. This article reminds me that I always used the wrong methods to love, as I should see people as a whole thing instead of peeling each slice of them.

Finally, I’d like to say it’s never too late to initiate change within myself. The feeling of happiness and satisfactions will follow my soul forever. I share this and you may feel it too and it will never be late for you too. Thank you.

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